God bless him. MAY GOD FOREVER BLESS HIM.
CHRIS PRATT CAN GET IT
does anyone else find it awkward emailing teachers like are you supposed to say hey, or hi or use their name or say love from at the end?
when I say “lmao” I do not mean “laughing my ass off” I mean “lmao”
wet dream: being financially secure with a career i enjoy
Last week, I may have gone too far. I’ll explain it quickly. Basically, I found out where he gets his clothes dry-cleaned. Custom ordered the same suit, made with tear-away velcro. And… you can fill in the rest.
my little sister officially turned 10 yesterday and because i’m in another state i couldn’t see her so i called instead to sing happy birthday and when i was done she whispered “gay” and hung up on me
is that the same sister who put her burned hand on your heart because ‘it was so nice and cold’
that would be the sister
50% of my jokes are self deprecating and 50% are self congratulatory like i’ll say “wow its hot in here…. just like me” and 5 seconds later point at a trash can and say “me”
the past is a strange place
cops on bikes used to transport criminals like this
this guy worked as an alarm for waking people up
one wheel motorcycle
pin-boys who manually lined pins up
baby cage for families who wanted their kids to get enough sunlight
zoo-keeper showering a penguin
But who woke up the guy that woke everyone else up